Day: May 4, 2017

I’M SO AWKWARD!!!

This evening, Shea was in a little school concert. It was pretty cute, and she got to be an adorable Box Fish.

After the performance, Xander and I made our way through the millions of parents (more like 30-50, but I’m not one for crowds, so you have to increase the actual amount, for dramatic effect), to Shea’s classroom. Shea’s teacher was standing in the doorway, looking happy, hand up, and……

I went for it! HIGH FIVE!!! Except that about half a second before contact I realized the invitation was for Xander. Too late to back out, I mumbled, “oops,” and gave the weakest half slap.

I JUST HIGH-FIVED A SECOND GRADE TEACHER!!!!!!

Immediately I became super awkward. Not knowing what to do, I scooped up Shea, said goodnight, and turned to leave.

I could hear Justin (from California) say, “why are you so awkward!?”

As we made our way to the car, I started giggling. And texting my sisters. Instantly, the playback in my head became more exaggerated, as I pictured myself running full speed at the man, jumping in front of Xander, and high-fiving him midair.

None of which happened, of course. But it might as well have. Because, oh my goodness.

Based on the look on his face, this was obviously a first. What in the world. It’s a good thing the school year is almost over, because I don’t think I will ever be able to make eye contact with that man again.

Most awkward mom ever!

Why Can’t I Adult!?

Every now and then, Justin has to take work trips. Boo. Currently, he’s in California, staying somewhere within walking distance of the beach. He sends me pictures of the fancy meals he eats each night, just to really rub it in that he’s vacationing someplace.

Yeah yeah yeah, it’s not vacation. He gets to sit in meetings all day doing stuff he thoroughly dislikes (he would say “hates,” but we’re trying to re-classify hate as a bad word–along with stupid–so Xander stops telling everyone he hates his sister, or rain, or our pug). Justin’s current job is not the running, jumping, climbing trees employment he prefers. I like to refer to it as the “planning committee.” He plans stuff. He’s really good at it, and I’m not just saying that because I’m married to him and I have to brag about him. Nah, I have about 10% knowledge of what the man does on a day-to-day basis, but I’ve seen his NCOERs. That and, you know, he got promoted, even after being told moving to this unit would kill his career.

He STILL refuses to let me go in his place on any of these TDY trips. To which I say, “boo.”

This is all beside the point.

I can’t really adult. Yes, I feed my kids. Yes, I continue on with life as usual. But today, I had ice cream for lunch. Ice cream! FOR LUNCH!!! Don’t tell Justin.

I also have an impossible time going to bed. I become like my kids on the weekends–staying up way too late, watching tv. Mainly because no one is telling me to go to bed. Which is super silly, since I’m usually the one telling Justin we have to go to bed at a decent hour, because I require sleep to function.

Justin leaves, and it’s Sammi No Rules over here. When I left work today, I had a mini arguement with myself, because I wanted to get fast food. Adult Sam told me to be an adult and go home and eat leftovers. I compromised by eating ice cream. Obviously. 

There is absolutely no reason why I couldn’t go get fast food after work on a day Justin wasn’t in California. Unless I went to Burger King and decided to drive by his building, honking and screaming, “I’m eating a cheeseburger!!!” Or if I sent him a selfie with a mouthful of fries. So how is it any different because he’s on the other side of the country!?

Of course, the weather has also been crappy since he left. See, even Kentucky is sad that Justin isn’t here.

I really suck at being an Army Wife. Or an adult who eats healthy and goes to bed when her husband isn’t here to say, “I’m judging you,” or, “SAM! You’re falling asleep on the couch–go to bed.” Worst adult ever. How have I been one for nearly half of my life!?