I really like Amazon. You can order all kinds of things, and two days later they appear at your door. It’s practically magic.
My most recent purchase has me puzzled. I got back from my run yesterday, and located on my door was a “sorry we missed you” note from the mailman. It stated that I have a package requiring a signature of an adult over 21. Justin must have ordered something…in my name??
In the last 2 weeks, the following items have been left on my doorstep, no signature needed: 2 types of fire ant killer (welcome to the south, folks. These little assholes will eat you alive and leave you itchy for weeks), a 27lb box of bullets (not my purchase, and not from Amazon, but still left out there). Other, random, Easter-related items that are harmless. But again, two boxes of items that could literally kill you (although, honestly, bullets on their own are relatively harmless…I think…I honestly don’t know anything about guns or bullets or any of that), were left on my doorstep.
So, what is is this latest package? Two items that could be considered highly…dangerous is not the right word. Confusing would be the best way to sum it up. I have ordered 3 packages of Liquid IV (a “hydration multiplier,” that magically turns one glass of water into 3? I don’t know–Justin asked for it. The Army uses it. Did I mention that this is the south? It’s hot as heck down here, and dehydration is a frequent occurrence). The second item: a coloring book (for Shea), titled: Unicorns Farting.
I’m not kidding! Again, Amazon never ceases to amaze.
But I’m still left wondering: why do farting unicorns require the signature of an over 21, when ant killer and bullets are safe to leave unattended?
I can’t wait to see this coloring book!
