*disclaimer: I wrote this days ago. I still don’t know what day it is, but we didn’t have internet for many of the days, and this dang this has not wanted to publish. I will add it to the list of “things going wrong” next go ‘round.
It has been a brutal…number of days. I honestly don’t even know what day it is anymore. I believe this mad rush of insanity started 48 hours ago, but then we jumped time zones, and at this point I don’t even know which way is up.
I guess it really got intense Saturday morning, when Justin and I got up early for our last push of cleaning, and truck packing. I would like to state for the record that I am never around for this. I believe I assisted way back in 2006 when we moved out of our first apartment, but back then we were 2 people and a pug, not 4 people 2 boxers and 3 cats. And a world of stuff.
By 10 it was obvious that we would not be on the road by noon. By noon it looked as though we would never get out of there.
Fun fact: when Justin and I put leftovers away and choose a container that’s to small, we refer to it as “pulling a Donna,” because my mom is notorious for misjudging the food to container ratio……
……Justin and I totally Donna’d the moving truck. Big time. Keep in mind, the army contracted movers took MOST of our stuff on Monday. We were just left with items we didn’t trust them with, items they wouldn’t move, items we couldn’t be without for days at a time, and whatever didn’t get packed or we needed for cleaning. It was a whole lot more than would fit in our baby 10’ uhaul.
Also, keep in mind that Tuesday, uhaul reached out to Justin to say they didn’t have a 10’ truck available, so we would be getting a 26’; Justin called them and we drove an hour away just to get the 10’. Epic mistake.
Items left behind that we didn’t intend on leaving behind: 2 mattresses, vacuum, steam cleaner, shopvac, pressure washer, camp chairs, beach chairs…and all kinds of other stuff. Nothing like a PCS to teach you a lesson in impermanence.
At one point we lost Captain SparklePaws. After a whole week of keeping the cats inside, we suddenly couldn’t find him. Room by room, we searched. Xander even looked in the toilet. Justin went outside and looked. I was sure he must have snuck out, even though I had no idea how. We did one more search of our nearly empty house. I asked “are you sure he isn’t in the tub? Behind the toilet? In a cabinet?” And Xander shouted, “he’s behind the trash can in the bathroom!!!” Dude, you looked in the toilet, but didn’t think yo look next to it?!
Captain hiding somewhere at some point…not actually behind the trash can on moving day.
Finally, at 4:30, we were all packed and on the road.
About an hour into the adventure, a car pulled halfway onto the interstate, and stopped. Then it drove across the lanes and bounced into the guardrail. I passed him; he started driving again. He tried to pass me in the left lane, and then he was in my lane! I moved onto the shoulder and braced for impact. He missed me, and swerved hard into the median. At that point I realized he was very obviously drunk, so I slowed down and waited for him to crash. Instead, he drove for 2 miles like vehicular bumper bowling. He bounced from shoulder to median, and back again. Cars would pass me, thinking I was just being a jerk driving 30 in a 55. Then they would see that lunatic and join me in crawling along the road. Finally he careened into a ditch, which I thought would be the end. But that civic was a beast, and he jumped it out of the ditch and turned into a gas station.
It’s these fun moments that make every drive a new adventure.
After only 5 hours of actual driving, Justin and I were both struggling, so we found the shadiest motel we could locate, and spent the night.
Sunday morning we were back at it. Justin and I were crushing it, and making awesome time. And then shea got sick. And was throwing up off and on for the last 10 hours we were in the car.
Also, Emma is neurotic and has a hard time peeing on a leash. Because….I don’t know, she’s got a lot of anxiety. Finally, after holding it for 24 hours, she peed at a rest stop. Rufus, in his slow southern goofball way, sniffed the stream, accidentally stuck his nose in it (at least I’m telling him it was an accident), then he hiked up his leg and peed on her.
Also also, throughout all of this, our poor cats had to be in crates, rather than free-range. Mostly because Nebula likes to reenact the scene from Braveheart. She shouts, “FREEDOM!!!” and sprints out any door that opens. I was not about to play “find the 8lb demon” in any state we passed through.
Everyone was miserable.
Maybe not Rufus. He got to sit on Emma for 30 hours.
It was truly the drive that never ended.
Until it did, and we were in a city.
So, about 2 months before Justin came home from Korea, he said to me, “I don’t want to worry you. But the first time I flew into El Paso, I fell asleep on the plane, and when I woke up I thought something went wrong because it looked like Baghdad.” Well, I don’t know what Baghdad looks like. A war zone? I wasn’t expecting a huge ass city.
It’s fine. It’s whatever. It’s just a year. We’ll be fine. Right?? Right?!?!
